#Enough
Today my beautiful, intelligent, determined, kind, intuitive, and healthy young daughter cried because she is too fat. She gained weight during Covid-19. Was she chubby before the pandemic? Yes. Is she overweight now? Yes. Her gifted vocal range, dance ability, and drama skills are outweighed by the number on the scale. Her inaccurate BMI carries more weight than her accomplishments. Her big tummy overshadows her thoughts and mood. Even when she is supposed to be having fun with her friends, watching a movie , or participating in group activity, she is still harboring this dark and heavy anchor that won’t let her go. She is just too big , and that means that she is just not enough.
What is this pervasive cancer that sneaks into our minds? Why is the number on the scale worth more than the pound of flesh it took to build the magnificent creature staring at it? People will blame the media. It goes deeper. It is systemic. It begins at birth when the baby is judged by how much he or she weighs or gains. Ounces become the object of discussion and pounds become the obsession. Before you know it, the pediatrician is weighing in. Looking at an inaccurate BMI making decisions about this child’s habits and lifestyle. Then the schools jump in sending letters home to parents detailing their bad choices because this child’s inaccurate BMI is way too high to be ignored. All this goes on and on, while a child grows into an adult who has reduced him or herself to a number on a BMI chart, a reading on a scale. This adult becomes a parent, and the circle begins again. How can you raise a child that is happy and secure in their own skin, if as parents, we cannot role model for them? We are just not enough.
I am not talking about being unhealthy. In fact, I am suggesting the opposite. Having a healthy self-image is just as important as healthy eating and exercise habits. The obsession, the reduction, to a number doesn’t feed healthy habits. It fuels self-destruction. Before you know it, you are so overwhelmed, you just try to forget about it. But, inevitably, something will remind you that you are not taking care of yourself. You are just not enough.
This is not a lesson that I am teaching through mastery. I struggle with self-image and worth every day. I know exactly how it feels to focus on others’ opinions of you based on your number. I know people who have a hard time in math. I know people who can’t parallel park. They work at it. They will never be math professors or professional drivers, but they do their best. We don’t make assumptions about their lifestyle or up-bringing because they can’t park, regardless of what we say in the rear view mirror. Yet, we will judge someone and their family over an inaccurate number on a chart.
It is enough. In fact it is the other side of enough. Let’s not just rant about this. We all know it is true. Let’s change it. Let’s start today,because I think we can all agree. IT’S ENOUGH!
